Monday, 5 May 2014

Crowborough again

Very difficult day today, first reaction is to never trust anyone, but if you don't trust anyone you will be all alone. I do have a problem with friends, or is it friends have a problem with me! Haha probably the latter, I suppose because you can never really know what someone thinks of you, you can only guess or believe what they say, it makes it difficult when someone lets you down, as you maybe expecting too much or have mis-read a situation, or like me dived in feet first. I have been a bit taken aback by being told "I don't no what I will do when you are gone, who will look out for me?" I am not used to that level of friendship, I don't think I have done anything special to merit it. I look at my friends like I do my music, I have many tunes that I like, but have a handful of very special tunes that mean a lot to me and maybe one or two ultimate tracks.

Three very special friends, Maggie, Nick and Lusi

I try hard not to bore people with my horror stories of hospital and the mess that used to be my mind, but I am starting to talk openly about cancer, the other day I was with my sister in Sainsbury's, and I said something about by accident walking out without paying, and she said they would arrest you, so I replied I will just blame it on the cancer, I also nearly got stopped for speeding, I would do the same, cancer will kill me in the end, so I don't see why I cant blame it for any mistakes I make in the meantime, within reason of course, murdering my best friend when she drives me nuts is pushing it a bit!

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