Friday 27 October 2017

And another thing

Goathland


So now I am having Angina attacks, well I think it is Angina a couple of trips to Hospital in a week should confirm it. Just seems to be no end to the things going wrong, 52 years without even breaking a bone and now almost every week something else goes wrong.
Typically my last visit to Clatterbridge and bloods were good, blood pressure was good and ECG was good, two days later and I wake in the night with a horrible pressure from my cheeks down through my chest and both arms, after five minutes it had gone and as I am now so used to pains all the time I didn't think much of it until I was out cycling and it started again within a mile, fortunately it stopped quite soon so taking it a bit easy I finished the ride, out walking with some friends on Monday and all was good until we had to walk back up the hill and I couldn't do it, I really thought I was going to have a Heart Attack, my friend had to go and get his car and come back to pick me up. My Doctors Surgery wanted me to go to A & E but the thought of it put me on the edge of panic, fortunately my GP saw me and has prescribed a spray to ease things until I see a specialist. This has come from nowhere and as I spend half my life walking and cycling it has really hit me hard, even having a shower brings on an attack! Exertion and Anxiety seem to be the main triggers, I know my last scans showing the growth in the Cancer hit me hard but it obviously hit me harder than I realised. 




This I am sure sounds like a real cliche, but I am not scared of dying not now after everything I have been through, a bit sad maybe as there are so many things I want to do. I have been out in Liverpool and Manchester the last couple of days, very scary as I can only walk slowly and crowds are a real problem. It is all the complications  that really scares me, what happens if I am unable to get out and about, what if I am confined to bed, what if I collapse in the street and someone steals my camera!! Haha funny how the mind works but that really has been a worry. What has really got to me with this latest problem, is I had my mind set on getting fit and healthy now I have stopped my treatment, then going off to America in the Spring for a big trip and coming back next Summer to face the Cancer, at least fit healthy and with some great memories, but now I don't know.

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