Raining Cats and Dogs

Most weekdays I go to my local RSPCA dog shelter to do some dog walking, I have only been doing it for a couple of weeks, but it is now part of my routine and I love it. Most of the dogs are subject to a cruelty case so unfortunately I can't post any photos. I do love dogs, but it would not be sensible for me to have one, so this is the next best thing, most days I will walk three dogs separately, and each day will be with different dogs as there are around 35 at the shelter. It is very relaxing, the paid staff are very friendly and easy going so apart from the rain today it is very good therapy, and also it gives some purpose to my daily walks into town.
I had a visit yesterday from a couple of ladies from The John Holt cancer centre, this was to arrange for me to be part of their little buds scheme, basically someone comes to see you once a week as a buddy for a few hours, to get you out in the community doing things. I do feel rather strange about doing this as for the last few years I have been acting as buddy to other people, and now the roles are reversed which is not a nice position to fund myself in, but as always there is an upside, I myself could become a buddy to someone with cancer, I just have to wait until a year has past since my diagnosis, this will be at the end of November, so hopefully after Christmas I will be able to support other people struggling, to be honest I will be much happier doing this as I am not really one to go out asking for help, so we shall see.

 The Forth Bridge

 



Now the weather is taking a turn for the worse I am starting to catch up on a lot of PC work with my photographs. I have around 30,000 negatives, around a fifth of them have been scanned, so I still have a fair bit of work to do.. Through a couple of Facebook groups I have been posting some of my collection of Motor Racing photos from the 1970s and 1980s, I am quite taken a back by the interest they have generated, it is so good to be able to share them with people who either remember the days fondly or are involved in running some of these cars today, I even had some correspondence with a chief mechanic from one of todays F1 teams! It makes all the hard work worthwhile, just a little sad my father isn't around to see its he used to take me to Silverstone and Brands Hatch and he would love all the You Tube clips and photos that are on the net now.

1984 Donington 500



Long time no post

When I started this blog the idea was to chart the progress of my cancer, and how it affected my day to day life, it has certainly changed my life but not in the way I would have expected.

CT scan at Clatterbridge

 



I have been incredibly lucky, my scan at 9 months since diagnosis showed no change to the Tumour on my  remaining Kidney, of the three Mets in my Lungs, one is the same size, one is smaller and the other has disappeared altogether. To put this into perspective, this last Monday I went to the funeral of my amazing friend Roz, she was in a better position 9 months ago, her cancer hadn't spread, so when her Kidney was removed at the same time as mine, it was hoped that was the end of it, sadly it returned with vengeance. Seeing the way Roz had to fight every inch of the way for the last 6 months of her life has left me with very mixed feelings, why her and not me?

Near West Kirby, on the Wirral

The river Dee at Shotton

 



While I have always been reasonably fit, this past 6 months I have worked very hard to get extra fit, partly through having the time, but mainly through the desire to not let my cancer beat me, I have and still do struggle mentally, although a  lot of that is caused by my position in life rather than just the cancer, and I am now making some life choices to be able to move forward.
So what have I been doing this past month! Unfortunately I have been to another funeral, the father of a very dear friend, who also died of cancer, like buses they tend to come at the same time. I have also been trying to get a PIP claim sorted, but it now looks like that could take up to 10 months from application, from what I have read online, this is a complete shambles and a disgrace, poor Roz died before she even got an assessment for her claim.

At long last I went to see Les Mis, incredible show

 



Its not all doom and gloom, apart from walking 5 miles a day, I have been doing a lot of cycling, around 15 a day, including a ride into Manchester the other week, a ride around Chester and a ride back from Southport. At the weekend I came back from a couple of weeks in the south, mostly spent with Sarah in Southampton, where we went indoor Skydiving, now I really don't like heights, but I really enjoyed it and now want to do the real thing, I no it will freak me out completely but I will be so proud of myself afterwards, that's if I survive of course! To be honest me and Sarah were rather lazy, last weekend we watched the whole of Ashes to Ashes, a fab TV show, around 24 hours worth I think, 'He's killed the Quattro, he's bloody killed my Quattro!' Gene Hunt, what a legend.

Ashes to Ashes





Clatterbridge once more

CT scan at Clatterbridge today, not much news as I wont find out the results till next Tuesday, but I did speak to Roz Vaughan, a remarkable lady who has had a horrendous time with her cancer, when I think back to December last year and we were both in identical positions, yet she is now fighting for her life. Of to Whiston hospital tomorrow to visit her, the very least I can do.
Funny sort of day today, recently I have been so listless and disinterested in anything except walking and cycling, but today I have been far more productive and positive than I have for a long time, I think it is because several people very close to me are really suffering, either with their own illness or the illness of a family member, this has really brought it home to me how lucky I am, I am sure I will have problems to face soon enough, but I need to make the most of this time and stop feeling sorry for myself and getting upset about the things missing in my life, and instead use to the full the things I do have in my life, especially the freedom and fitness that I have.

Keep eating the salad

 



I am off south again on Thursday, going to London to see Le Mis with a couple of friends then a few days in Southampton before heading back north on Sunday. I quite enjoy the driving these days, I put some good music on, then the distance just flies by. If I could get a Disabled Railcard I would quite happily go by train, but I need to be awarded a PIP claim to qualify, the PIP claim can take up to 25 weeks, mine has already been 15 weeks. What seems to happen, is you apply for these benefits when you are at deaths door, then by the time they have got round to assessing you, you are either dead, or not nearly so bad so they say you don't meet the criteria. I am not holding my breath on this one.
Almost forgot, I have tickets to see John Bishop in Bournemouth in October, should be really fab.

John Bishop



August Bank Holiday

Its been a month since I have posted anything, not really sure why, but I have been out and about enjoying myself.
I have my next CT scan tomorrow, always a difficult time, its funny but I get more worked up about the scan, than I do about the results when I go back a week later. I should find out more about the clinical trial and when I have to have Biopsies done etc. I really don't know how to feel about starting the treatment, the thought of getting ill is not nice, I rely so heavily on being fit and active, to start struggling is not a nice thought, especially with summer coming to an end, once the wet cold weather starts it is always hard to be motivated to go out and exercise, so feeling rubbish through my treatment will be doubly hard, but I am determined to keep at it and get out on my bike as much as I can.
Don't mess with the Tax Man! I put in a claim for mileage allowances over the past three years, and I was told that I was not entitled to them, but that they have re calculated my tax and I now owe them £400, if its not broken, don't try to fix it!

Sunny morning in Bruges

 



I went to Bruges the other week with Sarah, just a day trip but it was so much fun, we set of from Southampton at 9pm on the Tuesday evening for Dover then got the 4.20am sailing to Calais, with Sarah driving we got to Bruges around 8am, was a gorgeous day, sunny and warm, we had a boat trip down the canals and climbed the 366 steps up to the Bell tower.

 

 

366 steps later



Sarah did an amazing job driving on the right, I have not done it yet, so well done to her, we got back to Southampton around 1am Thursday morning. Friday lunchtime she had to go to Eastleigh and her car wouldn't start and it was terminal, so we were extremely lucky to do the miles we did without any problems.

How to overtake on the left

 



When it is good between me and Sarah, it is amazing, we do have our ups and downs, we both have issues of various sorts, but the spontaneous times are the best, on the way back from Bruges we called in at Adinkerke, and Sarah saw a sign for a War Cemetery, which was quite small so I suggested going to Ypres. Ypres cemetery is on the edge of the town with over 2000 stones including one German, the only other person there was someone tending the gardens, it was the most perfect moment, so peaceful and so moving, we were both very affected by the place, we spoke to a couple of locals who then pointed us in the direction of Tyne Cot cemetery not far away, so off we went. Over 10000 stones at Tyne Cot, an incredible place, although quite busy it was so peaceful, there is no way to put into words the feelings you have when you see these regimented rows of stones, so many with no name, an experience that neither of us will forget.

Tyne Cot Cemetery



Runcorn

We have had some gorgeous weather recently, I really can't stay indoors when the sun is shinning, so have been out walking and cycling every day. A couple of days ago I cycled to Runcorn, outward via the Bridgewater canal and return along the Trans Pennine route, was about 25 miles in total, was pretty easy, so quite pleased with that, obviously its mostly flat so I shouldn't have any real problems. Tomorrow I am going to get the train to Southport and cycle back, I think its a bit over 40 miles, so that will be the furthest I have been since last August, I know I wont have any real problems, so quite pleased at my level of fitness.

 

The Bridge, Runcorn

 

View down the Mersey towards Liverpool

 

 



Since I left hospital I haven't real set out to get ultra fit, I have only really done what I was doing last year, but with a lot more determination and a lot more satisfaction, especially as I still have an unwanted passenger clinging to my remaining Kidney.

Spike Island

My sleeping pattern has been awful recently, I have never been the best of sleepers. This past week alone I have had two nights where I haven't slept at all, I just don't seem to get tired despite all the exercise I am doing, it doesn't help of course talking or skyping people in the middle of the night.
One day last week instead of sleeping I went out at 4am to go and photograph the sun rise over Fiddlers Ferry power station, ok so it doesn't sound very romantic, but from Spike Island near Widnes the view is rather good, and as the tide was way out the estuary was covered in rivers of water in and out of the sandbanks, add the rotting boats in the foreground and it was all very photogenic. Was a gorgeous morning and I was so pleased to go out, as this is the sort of thing I used to do a lot of.

 

 

 

Fiddlers Ferry power station

 

It still sends a shiver down my spine how I spent two months in my hospital bed with a view of the power station, thinking I would never be able cycle past it again, funny sort of attachment, each to their  own! :-)

 



1984

Rather a long gap since my last post, had bit of a rough time emotionally, physically I have never felt better, but my thought process leaves a lot to be desired and at times makes life very difficult, a lot of my thinking is not about the cancer, but more about problems in my life that flare up now and again, and being ill has brought some of them back into the open, so a little hard going. I am positive and will sort my head out, I have been reading a book, 'Stop thinking and start living', while it is a very simplistic approach and a lot of the advice is not very practical, every now and again there is something that opens your eyes, and it has made me very aware of how our thoughts disrupt our daily lives, and I do consciously try to change where my thoughts are taking me, so it certainly is not doing me any harm.



 

Aimy outside the Playhouse

 

Went to see 1984 at the Playhouse Theatre in London, was a little disappointed, generally it was pretty good, but I don't think it did real justice to the book, which would probably be very hard to achieve. While in London we went to Highgate cemetery, I have wanted to go there for years, the West cemetery is by guided tour only, I am not generally a fan of guided tours as I like to walk around at my own pace, and the guide did have quite a quick pace, but she did come up with some interesting facts and anecdotes, I would love to visit in the winter on a misty November morning, I will have to some research about single person non guided tours, if you no what I mean.

 

 

 

Highgate West cemetery

 

On the way back to central London we stopped at The Aces and Eights bar in Tufnell Park, interesting place and some interesting decoration to the walls, the girl behind the bar was literally covered in Tattoos, and with her dark skin the colours were quite muted, so she looked fab.

 

 

 

Aces and Eights